Disclaimer: All characters from the Harry Potter universe belong to J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury Publishing, Scholastic Inc., AOL/Time Warner and associated companies. No offence, legal or otherwise, is intended by the online publication of this story. Neither is profit. Make love, not lawsuits!

Notes: Based on LiveJournal's spell-checker. I ran all the words in bold through the spell-checker and got a list of 'corrected' words. The challenge (or rather, the insanity) was to try to write a drabble featuring as many of these corrections as possible. Some of the selections are quite surreal. Various pairings: slash, het and gen. But mostly slash.


The Spelling Chronicles
by switchknife


Lovegood: Love good, Love-good, Loved, Lovebird, Lovejoy, Lived, Lodged, Logged, Longed, Locoed, Lovejoy's, Laved, Liveried, Lifeguard, Livened, Livered, Louvered, Legged, Leveed, Logout, Livid, Locked

Luna Lovegood, liveried in lively lingerie, laved her Gryffindor lovebird with attention. Lodged between Ginny's sweet thighs, Lovegood sucked and licked with all her might, with all the urgency of a lifeguard, drowning as she was in Ginny's cries. Locked in here with nothing but her love-joy, Lovegood lived up to her name--because that's what Ginny was moaning, over and over and over again: 'Love, good, love, good, yes, good...'--And it wasn't until McGonagall broke the wards around Ginny's bed, livid and sputtering, that Luna pulled away. 'I'm logging 100 points from Ravenclaw, Miss Lovegood!' McGonagall snarled, a two-legged tower of rage. But Luna licked her lips clean nonchalantly, and Ginny, who only longed for Luna's laving to continue, whimpered: 'Luna can earn her points back right here, Professor!'

* * *

Dumbledore: Tumbledown, Tumbled, Ambulatory

Dumbledore quite enjoyed being tumbled in Hagrid's tumbledown hut--not in the hay, but Hagrid's beard was rough enough--soft enough, fresh enough--and even now, in his old age, when he was barely ambulatory--even then Hagrid's touch awakened life in him, strength, spirit. Here, he felt young and firm again.

* * *

Flitwick: Flit wick, Flit-wick, Lodowick, Footwork, Flatworm, Fretwork, Fieldwork, Flatware, Ludwig, Flatcar

Flitwick assigned fieldwork to his fourth-year students--casting the Footwork charm on flatworms, making them dance. 'Oh look, mine's walking!' Lovegood exclaimed, pointing at her worm's new legs. The worm, unaccountably, began to tap-dance to the tune of Ode to Joy. Lovegood giggled. 'I know what I'll call him! Ludwig!'

* * *

Fortescue: Fortes cue, Fortes-cue, Fortes, Forte's, Forties, Forts, Footsie, Fort's, Fresco, Forsake, Fetes, Footsore, Fittest, Footsies

Now in his forties, playing footsie with young boys was no longer his forte--but Fortescue, called upon to cater at so many school fetes, could hardly forsake his old habits easily. He eyed the fittest of the boys, their lithe bodies painting a fresco of delight by the Great Lake--so many beautiful, upstanding young forts to conquer, oh yes. He'd play footsie with them until he was footsore, that's for sure. Perhaps Fortescue wasn't so old after all.

* * *

Mundungus: Mendings, Mending's, Mundanes, Bandung's, Mountings, Mandingo's, Mounting's

Mundungus' tastes were hardly mundane when it came to mounting. He was slimy in business, but dry in buggery--he liked to see arses mending, he did, after multiple and mellifluous mountings. Whether it was boys from Bandung, their dusky skins shining--or sweat-sweet Mandingoes from the valleys of Africa--or even, perhaps, a more mundane little Weasley--it mattered not, for Mundungus was a master. (Of mountings.)

* * *

Thestral: Gestural, Astral, Austral, Kestrel, Mistral, Thistle, Estrella, Mistrial, Pastoral, Postural, Thirstily

Thestrals, being invisible, are often witness to the most pastoral scenes--astral in their beauty, not postural in the least, but youthful and gestural and innocently sweet. Love-making on grass rough as thistle, under an open sky--bodies warmed against the mistral winds, mouths thirstily devouring mouths, limbs tangling with limbs. And there, the Thestral sees--above this melody of form--the lone kestrel, flying high, also observing it all.

* * *

Ravenclaw: Raven claw, Raven-claw, Avuncular, Ravenously, Rankle, Svengali, Revenge, Rabbinical, Rankly, Revenges, Revenger, Revenged, Wrangle

Ravenclaws are known for their rabbinical knowledge--and, yes, are avuncular in their concern for the other Houses--but should some Svengali, some evil Slytherin, twist them into doing wrong--why, they are quite helpless! They wrangle so long and ravenously that they barely notice their theories being filched--for lust, for revenge, or, quite simply, for fun. --This, as Snape tells his first years, makes them great allies--use their genius, but with your own common sense!


* * *

Snarry: Snare, Snarer, Snarly, Starry, Nary, Snore, Snorer, Snared, Snares, Norry, Sorry, Starr, Scary, Snaky, Snarf, Snark, Snarl, Unary, Smeary, Saner, Scenery

There is nary a snare more snarly than Snarry, so rich with snark and so stubbornly unary; so smeary with come, no saner than Snupin but with much better scenery.

* * *

Snape: Snap, Snipe, Snapper, Nape, Snappy, Sniper, Snip, Snaps, Snake, Scape, Snappier, Snare, Snapped, Synapse, Sane

Potter snapped when Snape's finger brushed his nape again: 'Don't you dare snare me again, snake!' Snape responded: 'I need just a snip for the potion, you fool! Unless you'd rather have every synapse in your less than sane brain fry, Potter--not that it would make a difference.' Potter, who was used to Snape's sniping, sat stiffly--waiting for the lock of his hair to be snipped, for him to leave the uncomfortable proximity of Snape's body, so that he may make his scape.

* * *

Pettigrew: Pedigree, Pedigreed, Pedigrees, Outgrew, Pedicure, Portiere, Pottage, Petri, Pettifoggery, Patterer, Pewterer, Potterer, Putterer, Perjure, Pottages, Petr, Pietrek, Degree, Pedigree's

Pettigrew never doubted his pedigree, Pureblood that he was--and no matter what Sirius used to say, he never outgrew the urge to think of Muggleborns as Mudbloods--who were given, as his mother had always told him while she got her pedicure, to perjury and pettifoggery. Now, standing in front of the heavy portiere behind which Sirius had fallen, he wasn't so sure. We won't hurt Black. Voldemort had been the one who'd lied, after all.

* * *

Padfoot: Pad foot, Pad-foot, Pussyfoot, Parfait, Patriot, Daft, Profit, Hotfoot, PDT, Taft, Advt, Padded, Pianoforte, Divot, Pivot

Padfoot didn't pussyfoot around the issues, no, which was why he got kicked out of home--he couldn't sit there with his most Ancient and Noble family, eating parfait with little silver spoons, while Voldemort was killing his less 'noble' neighbours outside. So, one night, he escaped. He defied the family that thought he was daft, that groveled at the Dark Lord's feet for profit--he padded past the pianoforte in the dead of night, planning to make it to James' house before hotfooting it out of town. When he joined the Order, the pivot in the movement against Voldemort, he looked at his new friends. No, his family. His real family. And he knew that, no matter what his Regulus said, he was the true patriot after all.

* * *

Wormtail: Worm tail, Worm-tail, Mortal, Wagtail, Whitetail, Wormhole, Wordily, Womanly, Mortally, Wittily, Metal, Wormed, Virtual

Wormtail wordily apologized to his Lord, his wormhole warm and frighteningly open, fearing that he would be mortally injured. The clink of metal around his wrists did nothing to console him--and when that wand--thirteen and a half inches of searing heat--speared him, his screams were loud and womanly.


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