Disclaimer: All characters from the Harry Potter universe belong to J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury Publishing, Scholastic Inc., AOL/Time Warner and associated companies. No offence, legal or otherwise, is intended by the online publication of this story. Neither is profit. Make love, not lawsuits!
Notes: Based on LiveJournal's spell-checker. I ran all the words in bold through the spell-checker and got a list of 'corrected' words. The challenge (or rather, the insanity) was to try to write a drabble featuring as many of these corrections as possible. Some of the selections are quite surreal. Various pairings: slash, het and gen. But mostly slash.
The Spelling
Chronicles
by switchknife
Lovegood: Love good, Love-good, Loved, Lovebird, Lovejoy,
Lived, Lodged, Logged, Longed, Locoed, Lovejoy's, Laved, Liveried, Lifeguard,
Livened, Livered, Louvered, Legged, Leveed, Logout, Livid, Locked
Luna Lovegood, liveried in lively lingerie, laved her Gryffindor lovebird with
attention. Lodged between Ginny's sweet thighs, Lovegood sucked and licked with
all her might, with all the urgency of a lifeguard, drowning as she was in
Ginny's cries. Locked in here with nothing but her love-joy, Lovegood lived up
to her name--because that's what Ginny was moaning, over and over and over
again: 'Love, good, love, good, yes, good...'--And it wasn't until McGonagall
broke the wards around Ginny's bed, livid and sputtering, that Luna pulled away.
'I'm logging 100 points from Ravenclaw, Miss Lovegood!' McGonagall snarled, a
two-legged tower of rage. But Luna licked her lips clean nonchalantly, and
Ginny, who only longed for Luna's laving to continue, whimpered: 'Luna can earn
her points back right here, Professor!'
* * *
Dumbledore: Tumbledown, Tumbled,
Ambulatory
Dumbledore quite enjoyed being tumbled in Hagrid's tumbledown hut--not in the
hay, but Hagrid's beard was rough enough--soft enough, fresh enough--and even
now, in his old age, when he was barely ambulatory--even then Hagrid's touch
awakened life in him, strength, spirit. Here, he felt young and firm again.
* * *
Flitwick: Flit wick, Flit-wick, Lodowick,
Footwork, Flatworm, Fretwork, Fieldwork, Flatware, Ludwig, Flatcar
Flitwick assigned fieldwork to his fourth-year students--casting the Footwork
charm on flatworms, making them dance. 'Oh look, mine's walking!' Lovegood
exclaimed, pointing at her worm's new legs. The worm, unaccountably, began to
tap-dance to the tune of Ode to Joy. Lovegood giggled. 'I know what I'll
call him! Ludwig!'
* * *
Fortescue: Fortes cue, Fortes-cue, Fortes, Forte's, Forties, Forts,
Footsie, Fort's, Fresco, Forsake, Fetes, Footsore, Fittest, Footsies
Now in his forties, playing footsie with young boys was no longer his forte--but
Fortescue, called upon to cater at so many school fetes, could hardly forsake
his old habits easily. He eyed the fittest of the boys, their lithe bodies
painting a fresco of delight by the Great Lake--so many beautiful, upstanding
young forts to conquer, oh yes. He'd play footsie with them until he was
footsore, that's for sure. Perhaps Fortescue wasn't so old after all.
* * *
Mundungus: Mendings, Mending's, Mundanes, Bandung's, Mountings,
Mandingo's, Mounting's
Mundungus' tastes were hardly mundane when it came to mounting. He was slimy in
business, but dry in buggery--he liked to see arses mending, he did, after
multiple and mellifluous mountings. Whether it was boys from Bandung, their
dusky skins shining--or sweat-sweet Mandingoes from the valleys of Africa--or
even, perhaps, a more mundane little Weasley--it mattered not, for Mundungus was
a master. (Of mountings.)
* * *
Thestral: Gestural, Astral, Austral, Kestrel, Mistral, Thistle,
Estrella, Mistrial, Pastoral, Postural, Thirstily
Thestrals, being invisible, are often witness to the most pastoral
scenes--astral in their beauty, not postural in the least, but youthful and
gestural and innocently sweet. Love-making on grass rough as thistle, under an
open sky--bodies warmed against the mistral winds, mouths thirstily devouring
mouths, limbs tangling with limbs. And there, the Thestral sees--above this
melody of form--the lone kestrel, flying high, also observing it all.
* * *
Ravenclaw: Raven claw, Raven-claw, Avuncular, Ravenously, Rankle,
Svengali, Revenge, Rabbinical, Rankly, Revenges, Revenger, Revenged, Wrangle
Ravenclaws are known for their rabbinical knowledge--and, yes, are avuncular in
their concern for the other Houses--but should some Svengali, some evil
Slytherin, twist them into doing wrong--why, they are quite helpless! They
wrangle so long and ravenously that they barely notice their theories being
filched--for lust, for revenge, or, quite simply, for fun. --This, as Snape
tells his first years, makes them great allies--use their genius, but with your
own common sense!
* * *
Snarry: Snare, Snarer, Snarly, Starry, Nary, Snore, Snorer, Snared,
Snares, Norry, Sorry, Starr, Scary, Snaky, Snarf, Snark, Snarl, Unary, Smeary,
Saner, Scenery
There is nary a snare more snarly than Snarry, so rich with snark and so
stubbornly unary; so smeary with come, no saner than Snupin but with much better
scenery.
* * *
Snape: Snap, Snipe, Snapper, Nape, Snappy, Sniper, Snip, Snaps, Snake,
Scape, Snappier, Snare, Snapped, Synapse, Sane
Potter snapped when Snape's finger brushed his nape again: 'Don't you dare snare
me again, snake!' Snape responded: 'I need just a snip for the potion, you fool!
Unless you'd rather have every synapse in your less than sane brain fry,
Potter--not that it would make a difference.' Potter, who was used to Snape's
sniping, sat stiffly--waiting for the lock of his hair to be snipped, for him to
leave the uncomfortable proximity of Snape's body, so that he may make his
scape.
* * *
Pettigrew: Pedigree, Pedigreed, Pedigrees, Outgrew, Pedicure,
Portiere, Pottage, Petri, Pettifoggery, Patterer, Pewterer, Potterer, Putterer,
Perjure, Pottages, Petr, Pietrek, Degree, Pedigree's
Pettigrew never doubted his pedigree, Pureblood that he was--and no matter what
Sirius used to say, he never outgrew the urge to think of Muggleborns as
Mudbloods--who were given, as his mother had always told him while she got her
pedicure, to perjury and pettifoggery. Now, standing in front of the heavy
portiere behind which Sirius had fallen, he wasn't so sure. We won't hurt Black.
Voldemort had been the one who'd lied, after all.
* * *
Padfoot: Pad foot, Pad-foot, Pussyfoot,
Parfait, Patriot, Daft, Profit, Hotfoot, PDT, Taft, Advt, Padded, Pianoforte,
Divot, Pivot
Padfoot didn't pussyfoot around the issues, no, which was why he got kicked out
of home--he couldn't sit there with his most Ancient and Noble family, eating
parfait with little silver spoons, while Voldemort was killing his less 'noble'
neighbours outside. So, one night, he escaped. He defied the family that thought
he was daft, that groveled at the Dark Lord's feet for profit--he padded past
the pianoforte in the dead of night, planning to make it to James' house before
hotfooting it out of town. When he joined the Order, the pivot in the movement
against Voldemort, he looked at his new friends. No, his family. His real
family. And he knew that, no matter what his Regulus said, he was the true
patriot after all.
* * *
Wormtail: Worm tail, Worm-tail, Mortal,
Wagtail, Whitetail, Wormhole, Wordily, Womanly, Mortally, Wittily, Metal,
Wormed, Virtual
Wormtail wordily apologized to his Lord, his wormhole warm and frighteningly
open, fearing that he would be mortally injured. The clink of metal around his
wrists did nothing to console him--and when that wand--thirteen and a half
inches of searing heat--speared him, his screams were loud and womanly.
* ALWAYS IN PROGRESS *